Monday, February 20, 2012

Submission in Marriage (This is a Toughie)


I am excited about this new meme, Marriage Monday, created by seems this appears every first and third Monday and this week is a topic  that has  really  given me  much to  think about!

Welcome to Marriage Monday

How Marriage Works:21 Secrets Every Couple Needs to Know

Secret #10: A Wife’s Submission Empowers Her Husband

Q. Why all the fuss about submission? Is it really relevant in today’s egalitarian society?

 Our   hostess has given  us  a few writing prompts to guide our thinking  and I'll share them  with you...

1. Define the Greek word for submission, "hupotasso" [hoop-ot-as-so].
2. Tell us a story. Show how your submissive attitude blessed your husband on a specific occasion.
3. Expound this biblical passage: Ephesians 5:22-33.
4. Discuss what the Bible has to say about submission outside of marriage
e.g. to bosses, political leaders, and other authorities.

SO I looked up  submit  from  the following  verse 1Peter 2:13 "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every  human institution, whether to a king, as one in authority...".  IN this  case the  word submit means   to yield to....  or subject to... according to  the Key word Study Bible of the Hebrew and Greek Lexicon...
  Vine's Expository  Dictinary   lists Subjection as a primarily military term to rank under...     as in Eph. 1:22-23  which  details God's plan  for establishing order in  the world..
22 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way. This them continues in Eph 5:22-23...
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
 So  how   do I  take this  idea of  being subject to my husband  ...  yielding to him????

  Seeing  this from  God's perspective is very different  from  how the world perceives this... The world would say  " who is the husband to  "Lord" it over the wife....   this is just short of a husband enslaving a woman keeping her in her place and how does the equal rights amendment  fit into this kind of marriage....
Frankly,  I  grew up in a family where the man deferred to the wife more than he should...  My mother was  strong force and my father   did not  actually   practice  Ephesians 5:23  in our home... and so   anyone who visited with us for any amount of time  would attest that  our home was often filled with strife and bickering....  nothing so serious to  cripple the family.. but I    was raised to never see God's perfect plan for  the family...  this is an area in my life where I had to learn  the long hard way about what godly submission is....and what it is not....
First of all it is not   a forced  type of submission... is not a Lording it over on the woman  ...far from it...  one  can look to the rest of the text in Ephesians 5...."24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself..".  and then  " 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. "   
There is nothing here to  even remotely suggest  a  ruling over kind of submission....    but  I can see that  in God's  holy order for the family   by placing the man at the head  he is also given him the awesome task of keeping the family together... providing for and  making wise judgments for the family  pertaining to every need and  decision... the man  is  under God's  authority to     serve his family to the best of his ability.. Fatherhood and  husbandry should never be  taken lightly...  and I love the verse 28.. where the man is love the wife as God loves the church....   that is an awesome love....     not one of  enslavement or forcefulness  but  tenderness yet sacrifical love...  
So what about the wife and her submission...     she is to  be subject to her husband.. yielding to him  ....   I find this  very  comforting...  knowing that if the man is  living  a godly life before God in  his role  then I  can rest assured of   a peaceful loving home....  it is easy for me to   do verse 33..   to respect my husband when I see him  serving  the family  under the direct headship of  the Father....  oh, if only this  ideal from the scriptures  was a typical family in today's society...!!!!
  My mother  joined the work force in the late 50's   which put more  money in our family coffers, but  put a stress on the family  as well...  she had to put in the work hours then come home and  cook,  wash, clean, and sew for the family  and  she put in many many  long hours.....   and  I believe that with this  divided role of the working wife and mother  she learned to  push her opinions into the mix  as what society was demanding was her right.... and that  slippery slope has entrenched itself into  the mainstream  for so long  that  today  God's plan is  so very far from  what is the expected  it is  now considered abnormal....  a  housewife is considered less than   ambitious.. just as  home schooled  children are often times  considered  odd.. out of touch...
  I struggled with  trying to  grow up and mature  in an everchanging upside world  of working wife and mother, and  had my share of  embittered  arguments and angry  episodes  before God 's way finally chipped away all of the coarse rough places  the world  had tried to mold into me...  My husband as well,,,  has come to grips with what a godly husband is like...   because like many men  he struggles with  a type of arrogance and critical spirit that perhaps  my  demeaning spirit may very well have  helped to create.
 Long hours of Bible study and biblical marriage seminars.  have taught us   what  we needed to understand about godly marriage and  proper role playing  between  husband and wife.... and now  I can truly say I wouldnt want it any other way...
   I feel completely loved and cherished  by  my husband whom  I work with  in decision making for the family...   we share in  decisions   about everything...even eating out...   because  when  I respect and love him for  what he means to our family  I want what he wants  .... it makes  our home  happy and  I see how God has blessed our marriage  over  the  times of our growing together  in submission to Him. HIs  Godly wise order for  all things is the one and only way  that leads to  happiness and fulfilment.



  1. Beautiful! There's so much seasoned wisdom here, and some very good thinking on a difficult topic.

    Thank you for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Schotzy.

    (Did you add your link to the linky?)

    Blessings, e-Mom ღ

  2. This was an especially good post today. I love your blog!


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